DISCLAIMER: This post contains a dangerous ammount of salt. Any resemblance to real conlangs living or dead is purely coincidental. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
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This is the perfect conlang, it’s better than all the rest.
It consists of two words, ”Ohm” and ”Mal”. Ohm is everything you, personally, like and ”Mal” is everything you, personally dislike.
If anyone misunderstands you, it is simply because they translated ”Ohm” or ”Mal” wrong, it couldn’t possibly be that the world is more nuanced and complicated than just ”good things” and ”bad things”.
Life is simple, and language should be too!